I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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