i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
