So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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