Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
