I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
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