Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Randomize
