so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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