He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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