I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
