just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Randomize
