his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
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