put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
