Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
