when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
So much Jack, so little girl.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
