she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Randomize
