i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
