i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
