Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
