Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I'm both gender and math confused
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
