no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."�
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
