i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
