She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
i now understand why vodka
We're too hungover to prance.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Randomize
