you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
