So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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