I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
