Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
