I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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