Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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