i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
