She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
