The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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