My cat gives me a boner
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
