I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
