Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Randomize
