If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
