it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
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