She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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