I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
