i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
