How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
