Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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