Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Randomize
