YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Randomize
