the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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