I puked a lego.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
