where does the pee come out of this thing
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
