3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
