is your mom at the bar?
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
