Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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