Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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