Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
